Sexuality is a lifelong learning process

Innate anatomical and physiological factors are involved in sexuality. However, how we experience sexuality, and what we make of it, is learned. The bloodflow into the sexual organs (vasocongestion), for example, is an involuntary, reflexive process that becomes accessible to consciousness and conscious influence through learning.

How does sexual learning work?

Sexual learning begins in early childhood. From birth, the genitals of every healthy person are full of nerve endings that can be stimulated and contribute to sexual arousal. It takes many repetitions, however, before stimulation is consciously experienced as arousing and can be deliberately induced. Depending on which receptors are stimulated in which way, people learn completely different arousal techniques and perceive sexual arousal in completely different ways. As a result, they also associate different images, feelings, thoughts, needs and preferences with sexuality.

Based on the exploration of one's own sexuality and genital arousal with peers and the opposite sex, the perception of one's own gender and gender difference develops. The socialization that takes place at the same time conveys the concepts of "public" and "private", i.e. sexuality as intimacy with oneself and with others. Children combine sexual arousal with the socialization process, communicative skills and emotional intensity through role-playing and games.

Lack of support for learning steps

Like all development, sexual development is lifelong, involving new discoveries and the consolidation of what has already been learned by repeating or referring back to earlier stages of development. Physical changes in the various phases of life – such as the "hormonal storm" that heralds puberty –, as well as illnesses and disabilities require new sexual learning processes with oneself and others.

However, no human ability is so little supported, accompanied and understood in its development by parents and society as that of sexuality. Sexual learning is therefore largely autodidactic, and most of us are unaware of the fact that this is learning. Therefore, most of us are unaware of the fact that we can influence our sexuality through new learning processes.

New learning steps in sex therapy

In the view of the Sexocorporel concept, every person has acquired skills and resources in their sexuality. Sexual problems arise when these learned skills can only be adapted to current life situations or needs to a limited extent. These limitations are neither pathological nor deficient. They can be expanded through new learning processes. Sexocorporel sex therapy is based on this.